It is sad, but most men make the same, predictable mistakes when meeting women. And it’s these mistakes that end up ruining their chances of getting the relationship that they want. Here are some of the common mistakes that they make.
Showing Interest In Sex Too Early
One of the hallmarks of a high-quality man is his desire to find out more about a woman before jumping into bed with her. Men who want genuine quality from their relationships will spend time getting to know a woman first. What’s more, men who don’t want to get into bed immediately show that they are discerning. They’re not just interested in the way a woman looks; they’re also interested in how she acts. This type of behavior immediately changes the dynamic. It’s no longer the man pleading with the woman for a relationship. The woman also has to impress the man. If she feels that she has to sell herself to you, she will immediately see that you have higher quality.
None of this means, of course, that you avoid any physicality whatsoever. The atmosphere has to be “charged” in some way. Otherwise, it won’t be exciting. Physical contact is necessary. But we’ve all see the disastrous results of people who have been to body language courses using it inappropriately. Physical contact has to be subtle and natural. And it has to be just enough to arouse her curiosity. To begin with, you want to play it safe. Start off with a handshake and maybe a kiss on the cheek. This is the standard procedure and socially acceptable. But you don’t want to get stuck there. Moving things forward by holding her hand or kissing her outright. Keeping momentum is important. But you need to be the one who ends these physical interactions. Remember, it’s not all about sex straight away.
Being Generic
If there’s one thing that’s sure to get you ignored, it’s being generic. All too often men will approach women with cookie-cutter questions. They will ask things like “Where are you from?” “What have you done today?” “What do you do for a living?” “Do you have any pets?” These questions, while polite, aren’t exactly exciting. And by focusing on them, you are likely to be written off as just another boring guy. Most guys will stop here. And when they do, it’s all too easy for them to fall into the dreaded “friend zone.” They are compartmentalised as a “nice guy” but not somebody that is particularly interesting.
Instead of going in thick on the courtesy, switch things up a bit. In any relationship, you want to get the other person to invest emotional energy in you. And so that’s why it’s important to make light of her answers. By all means, ask her where she lives. But don’t then move onto the next question, like a robot. If she’s from a town with a rival sports team, joke about how you can’t talk to her anymore. Then carry on. This type of behaviour keeps her interested. And it shows that you’re not particularly bothered about which way the conversation goes. Of course, you are, but you can keep that to yourself.
Not Having Fun
A lot of men aren’t having fun when they meet women. There’s a lot of pressure on each interaction. And this often makes the conversation feel wooden and high-stress. The way you feel determines the way you act. If you feel tense and stressed, this will come across in your conversations. Try, if you can, to loosen up. Fake your emotions if you have to. Faking can sometimes help automatically put you into a more relaxed state. Even chuckling to yourself can help
You also want to make sure that it looks to any observers that you’re having fun. Don’t just sit there at the bar with your friends, plotting your next moves. Enjoy yourself and share that energy with the new people you meet. Women will be much more interested in you if you are having fun. And having fun will help grease the wheels of the rest of your interactions with other people. You want to be a man who is willing to speak to everyone in the room. This is a surefire way to make you feel good. And it shows that you have the status and the skills to entertain anybody in a conversation.
Once you feel good and are having fun, that’s the best time to approach women. When you’re in this state, you’re less inhibited and more relaxed at the same time. You’ll appear more self-confident and you’ll be of genuine interest to the people around you.
Not Bothering To Look
A lot of men think that their ideal match is going to fall straight into their lap. All they have to do is wait and she’ll arrive. But the sad thing is that thousands of men take this attitude and never find anybody. It’s a myth that the perfect person will just come along. You have to go out into the world and look for them.
There are, of course, plenty of places that you can find potential partners. But the best places tend to be those that are the most organic. There’s a sense that most relationships get started on dating websites or at bars. But most new relationships start through work. Work, strangely, brings people together romantically. Holidays are also a great place to meet new women. Here you are free from any kind of commitments and can just focus on the budding relationship. Other places are great too, of course. If you want to meet more women check this out.
Not Knowing What To Say
We’ve all witnessed that awkward moment when a man doesn’t know what to say to a woman. It’s cringeworthy because we are aware just how much being a good in conversation is valued.
That’s why it’s so important always to have something up your sleeve to say. After the initial opener, you want to launch straight into something. But make sure that whatever you say is contextual. For instance, if you’re in a music store, recommend an album for her to listen to. Or strike up a conversation about the bands that she likes. Then transition to a topic about her. “Do you like listening to that band? What is it that you like about them?” This way you get the conversation going and find out more about her. Different contexts will require different questions.
Remember, you want to ask open questions; questions that will allow your date to express their personality. As discussed before, don’t stick with the generic questions. Instead, ask for their advice or their help on something you’ve been struggling with. Perhaps you can’t think of what to buy your niece for her birthday. You’ve been around all the shops, but nothing has stood out for you. What would she suggest?
Don’t Shower Her With Compliments
Showering anybody, including women, with compliments before you know them is a little bit weird. You’re essentially praising somebody you don’t know for being amazing. Of course, they might be amazing, but it’s a little premature to assume that right at the start of a conversation.
We’re so used to this type of behaviour, however, that it doesn’t seem strange. But it’s easy to see how strange it is when you imagine the reverse. Imagine you showered people you had only just met with insults. They would respond correctly that your insults were meaningless. After all, you know nothing about them. The same goes for compliments. Get to know the woman first, and then compliment her real strengths.
