Dating a Colleague – Should You Do It?
When it comes to your love life, everyone will have an opinion. From your parents to your friends to that person down the road, someone will have something to say about whoever you choose to date. Some things are a little frowned upon in society by some people and not by others – dating a co-worker for example – so how do you know whether it is the right thing to do or not? Is dating a colleague worth it and should it be done?
There are plenty of arguments for and against but here are some things to consider if you do decide to enter into a relationship with one of your colleagues:
Work Out If They Like You Back
So you like your colleague and would like to take things further with them if the possibility is there – but how do you know if they actually like you back? There are a few ways of finding this out without outright asking them but if you have the confidence, that is also an option.
Do they chat to you the most? Maybe they aren’t that interested in chatting to others in the office or maybe they simply want to spend a little more time with you. In regards to spending more time, you may even find that their shift pattern adjusts to match yours so they can spend even more time with you!
They may come to you for help for the most stupid of reasons – it will often be very clear that they aren’t really coming to you for help and actually as an excuse to speak to you so keep an eye out for this. Or they can come with stupid questions, which have already been asked or the answer is pretty obvious.
Check Company Policy
Whilst plenty of work places frown upon work romances, not many will actually have it written into their policy that you cannot date a co-worker. However, some companies do it have written into the contract for certain reasons of the profession and this is why you must definitely check your company policy before even entertaining the thought of an office romance with one of your colleagues.
You aren’t being paid to date each other so don’t let yourself be distracted by each other. Complete your tasks as you normally would and don’t talk about menial relationship problems whilst at work.
Whether you choose to inform your company of a relationship should you embark on one or not, it is important to be aware on how the company itself would view the relationship so you can be prepared for any eventuality that may come of it. It is best to be honest in this situation and let your superiors know about the relationship but the choice is ultimately yours.
Really Think About It
Sleep on it, muse over it for a few days. Don’t go jumping into anything unless you have really, truly given it all your thought. You may like your colleague and they may like you back but there are so many other things to consider than just that fact. You don’t need to get to know them, you already know them so it may be tempting to get involved straight away but you don’t want to jump into something too quickly and regret it later.
Are you also prepared for what could happen should the relationship run its course? You will still have to work together regardless of this – is this something you can deal with?
Set Ground Rules
If company policy states nowhere that dating a colleague is forbidden, then it is important to set some ground rules. They always say not to mix work and play as you could end up playing with fire so it is vital to be strict about this. No talk of work in personal time and no bringing personal issues into work should be the first rules on the list.
It can be so easy to bring your work life home or your personal life into work – it is so hard to separate them anyway so a partner who you also work with could be a recipe for disaster. Ground rules eliminate these problems and ensure you can keep both lives as separate as possible and be able to enjoy your workplace romance without worries of it being spoilt due to other problems. No one needs the stress of the workplace in their personal relationships and no one needs the stress of their relationship at work – they are two separate spaces and should be treated as such.
Relationships can be difficult anyway without the added pressure of dating a colleague so make sure it is what you really want, what they want and that the appropriate parties are aware and appropriate ground rules have been set. Then focus on creating a loving and fund relationship.