Hilarious Failed Robbery Stories

Burglary Arrests IowaEven the most well thought-out robbery can take a turn for the worst. Some of these failed robberies are downright hilarious. Let’s take a look at some of the funniest failed robbery stories:

The Robber That Became a Sexual Slave…

A Russian robber made a huge mistake when he entered the salon of a female hair dresser with extensive martial arts training. The woman, named Olga, held the armed robber captive a couple of days as her personal sex slave. Reportedly, the man was gagged, physically abused, handcuffed and fed Viagra in order to have intercourse with Olga for multiple times. After approximately two days of constant punishment, the robber was finally released and headed to the hospital due to a torn frenulum. The police where surprised and confused when he went on to report Olga for forcing sexual acts upon him. Olga got convicted for rape, while the man of robbery.

Asking the Victim Out For a Date…

A trio of armed robbers invaded a couple’s home, but things got weird when one of them came back a couple of hours later and asked the female victim, Diana Martinez out on a date. Martinez recognized the man as one of the trio and quickly asked one of her relatives to call the police. The robber was arrested in front of the house shortly afterwards.

Productive Lunchtime…

Mark Burgen, an infamous jewelry thief from Franklin, Tennessee is known for being quite resourceful with his spare time. In 2011 he was being tried for armed robbery. During lunch break the cheeky man decided to walk off to Walton’s Antique Jewelry store, and steal $30,000 worth of diamonds. He stashed the loot outside the courthouse on his way back in. Eventually, Burgen was found guilty of his initial charges, and was also arrested in the courtroom for his lunchtime escapade. Well, you have to admire the man’s conviction to make the most out of his lunch break.

Using Permanent Ink as Masks…

There was no way for burglars Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller (above) to find an excuse once the police pulled them over. The two robbers made the worst decision when choosing their disguises: their masks were actually drawn to their faces with permanent ink. The police stopped their car after one of the witnesses reported two men ‘with painted faces’ trying to break into a flat. The witness added that they were hooded and driving a white car. Once the police spotted a Buick Roadmaster matching the description, there was no doubt that the men inside where responsible for the crime thanks to their inked faces.

The Robber Who Was Discovered for Laughing at a Joke…

Sometimes, having a sense of humor may not be a good thing. A robber skillfully hid himself when the family arrived at their home but was quickly caught soon after the couple heard someone laughing out loud downstairs after the husband told a funny story. The joke must have been excellent.

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