Man Throws Water Balloons at Security…

…and by water I mean vomit and by balloons I mean condoms…

A few weeks ago we learned that the shit stain, Matthew Clemens, who puked on a father and his daughter at a Phillies game had pleaded guilty to his charges.  Guilty of being as ass fu%^&* loser.  Today, we have a new douche mouth in town.  Introducing Tyler J. Wilfley.  Tyler is also into sharing his upchuck with others.  Wilfley is now awaiting trial on charges of battery and disorderly conduct because of an alleged incident with a security guard on the campus of North Central College in Naperville, Illinois.  Said incident happened in the early morning hours of Friday, May 28th when a woman placed a phone call to the campus security guard to request an escort to another part of the campus.  When the officer arrived at the pick up location his vehicle was struck by something that resembled a water balloon.  In this case it was neither a balloon nor water inside it.  It was a condom filled with what is believed to be human vomit.  I wish I was making this up.

The security officer contacted the authorities who were able to trace the phone call that was made by the woman requesting the escort.  It was found that Wilfley had persuaded her to make the phone call in order to lure the officer to the location.  This could be a sort of retaliation by Wilfley who was given a ticket in October for illegal consumption of alcohol by a minor.  He pleaded guilty to the charge and received court supervision and a fine.  As of right now Wilfley is out on bail and awaiting his arraignment.

Here’s my question.  How does one vomit and then get it into a condom?  Is it like he puked in a bucket and then used a funnel to get the vomit inside the condom?  Who comes up with that idea and who wants to handle their own vomit?  I think it would have been equally funny and less of a crime if had just filled up water balloons with water instead.  There is a line drawn between funny and f^&*ing disgusting and he got loaded up in a catapult and launched himself over to the latter of the two.  Hell, he could have used the condoms if he wanted to.  I don’t think I will ever understand what goes through the mind of twisted individuals like Clemens and Wilfley.

Source: NBC Chicago