Tim Allen was Arrested for Trafficking in 1978 and Almost Spent Life in Prison
If you already knew Tim Allen had an awesome mustache and was cuffed and stuffed for trafficking…then why didn’t you tell me?
I can’t figure out if this is common knowledge or if I just happen to stumble upon a great Yahoo! article about where celebrities were when they were 25. More than likely the former. For Warren Buffet, he was an investment salesman for Buffett-Falk & Co in Nebraska. Good old Mark Cuban was a bartender in Dallas and Martha Stewart had just quit her Wall Street job to be a stay at home mom. A year later she started a catering company that did pretty well. All are good stories but Tim Allen’s really shocked me.
In 1978, when Tim Allen was 25 years old, he was detained at an airport in Michigan after he was found to be in the possession of a lot of cocaine. The biggest problem for Allen was that he was in possession of over 650 grams of the Columbian bam bam. As Michigan law stated, he was potentially going to prison for life for possessing a pound and half of cocaine.
The law was passed to teach people a lesson. Selling more than 650 grams of cocaine got you life in prison. They thought it would be a deterrent. It wasn’t. I was put in a holding cell with twenty other guys — we had to crap in the same crapper in the middle of the room — and I just told myself, I can’t do this for seven and a half years. I want to kill myself
Instead of spending the rest of his years in the joint, and subsequently depriving us of a major piece nostalgia, Allen agreed to roll over on the people he was associating with at the time of the arrest. He wasn’t just giving up one or two people either. Allen gave the names of 21 individuals who he had worked with to bring his sentence down to 5 years. Allen claims that comedy saved his life while in prison.
When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine — this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
That’s when the comic in me appeared. The comic said, “Have you ever killed yourself before? Do you know how it works? Let me tell you how it’s going to end up: You’re gonna get it wrong and end up hanging a few inches off the ground with your shirt just over your ears, going: ‘Oh, fuck. Somebody help me …’ You’re gonna hang like an idiot for an hour with everybody just looking at you.” The image of my head straining with the shirt over my ears made me laugh. The comic in me showed up, the purest form, and saved my life.
After prison, Tim Allen Dick dropped his last name and appeared on stage as just Tim Allen. He crafted his routine around an inept man with power tools. Sound familiar? In 1991, 13 years after his arrest, we were all introduced to Home Improvement.
What if Allen didn’t roll over on those other guys? We would have no Home Improvement, no Buzz Lightyear, no Jonathan Taylor Thomas and no AL BORLAND! Seriously though, I feel like this is something I should have known about for a long time but I never came across it. Perhaps that is exactly how Tim Allen would like it? I wonder if there is a day that goes by where he doesn’t think about the guys he put in the clink…or…more importantly, are the guys in the clink thinking everyday about how Tim “The Toolman” Taylor put them away by snitching?
[insert Tim Allen classic Home Improvement grunt]
Thing is, the dude ruined 21 other lives just to save his own because he's a bitch. PERIOD. If he wouldn't have snitched, then maybe one of the OTHER dudes would have been Tim The Toolman Taylor and got their lives right, but that didn't happen. He's a snitch, bottom line. Those of you saying otherwise are probably bitch ass snitches too and I'm glad you at least admit it...best way to do it, is to never do anything wrong, and that's what's supposed to happen. The ONLY acceptable time to do so is if you DIDN'T do the shit...but he DID, and he wasn't man enough to take responsibility for what he did. It was all fun and games for him while he was selling that shit, getting that money, and women, etc...but when shit hit the fan, suddenly, it's too rough. I am NOT a criminal, or tough guy, and I do NOT advocate crime, but, you jump in the pool, don't get scared when your hair gets wet. I like his little shows and such, but him as a person? NO respect...I'm sure he gives not a fuck about anyone's opinion though...of course, that is until one of those nice fellas he put away comes knocking at his door for reparations, which I honestly hopes happens.
Oh please, all of you looking at life in prison would literally do the same thing... Enough with the act lol
All these people talking about how snitches get stitches and that he's fucking a rat have no idea what it's like to be a situation where your options are prison or working with the cops. It's very different when your ass is the one getting interrogated.
@SuzeeRoberson Or as hugely successful Tv/Movie stars
That story was a half truth. Tim was arreSted with a young black female. He got 5 years. She got life. Justice was really color blind in the seventies. He was the carrier and she was his companion.
@Eric Check out the dictionary; there's a word in there called 'sarcasm'. Carmen knew about it, but I can tell you don't
@Carmen i know your comment is about a year old, but i just wanna help you correct your metaphor. "Justice was really color oriented" because colorblind would make people assume that there was equal justice to everyone. since there is no color. Get IT??!!>!>!!?!?!?