Humor

Life Imitating Memes: Man Sets House On Fire to Kill Spiders

By Dan DiLoreto | October 26, 2018

Yes. You’ve seen that meme. It’s probably some iteration of the one shown above. You’re significant other has sent it to you to pound it into your skull that she does not like spiders. Then, her and her friends will share it with each other because it’s fun to hate the same stuff. But one man…

Ohio Man in Stable Condition After Being Shot By His Oven

By Dan DiLoreto | May 23, 2018

Guns don’t shoot people, appliances shoot people. At least, that’s the new adage after an Ohio man was shot by his oven over the weekend. What started as a noble and responsible (kind of) act, ended with a trip to the emergency room for Robin Garlock of Warren, Ohio. Garlock, 44, decided to put his…

Batman Ate at Chipotle For 500 Days Straight

By Dan DiLoreto | March 22, 2018

The Caped Crusader had a hankerin’ for some Mexican fare that he just couldn’t shake. Bruce Wayne — no shit, that’s his real name — of Tiffin Ohio, broke the record for most consecutive meals at the restaurant in December when he hit 426. For good measure, he decided to get his Chipotle streak to…

Man Parks Next To Police With Music Blaring, Has No License and 37 Bags Of Crack On Him Because Criminals Are Insanely Stupid

By Dan DiLoreto | June 5, 2017

If criminals were smart, imagine how much worse the drug epidemic could be. In Youngstown, Ohio over the weekend, 20-year-old Joseph Dawson was arrested for possession of crack cocaine and traffic charges after he parked next to a police cruiser and left his car unattended with the music blaring. Officers took Dawson outside to question…

Ohio Shoots Florida After Argument Over Which State Has Better Strip Clubs

By Dan DiLoreto | February 24, 2016

At this point, why don’t we just refer to these mongos as their states names? You know, like if LeBron hits a game winner, we say “the Cavaliers won.” Now, we’ll just consider each of these states as bitter rivals in a sport that no one else wants to participate in. So using that logic,…

For Your Consideration: ‘Dumb & Dumber’ Gets An Oscar-Worthy Trailer

By Dan DiLoreto | January 14, 2016

Reason 1,203,840 we love the internet would have to be the genius who came up with the remix of the “Dumb & Dumber” trailer. Watch as this person takes hold of your soul in while you watch what will undoubtedly become the movie of the year. The trailer takes hold of you and you can’t…

Johnny Manziel Saga Gets ‘Making A Murderer’ Treatment With ‘Making A Manziel’

By Dan DiLoreto | January 7, 2016

If you like sports and have a pulse, you have undoubtedly heard all of the reports this week about Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel and his trip to Las Vegas. Although we still don’t have photographic proof, the rumors are the quarterback ditched the last game of the season while on concussion protocol to go…

Las Vegas Man Asked What He’d Do If He Won Powerball, His Response Is Honest And Illegal

By Dan DiLoreto | January 7, 2016

Last night’s Powerball drawing found no winner, although we really wish one Las Vegas man had all the right numbers. When a reporter from Fox 5 in Las Vegas, Nevada traveled to the Nevada border to find people buying up Powerball tickets, she probably never imagined that she would run into someone as honest and…

An Honest Performance Of ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ Is Pretty Terrifying

By Dan DiLoreto | December 24, 2015

Leave it to Funny Or Die to take a classic Christmas song and Cosby the shit out of it. Honestly, though, if you didn’t think something was up with the female having to ask the male “what was up” with her drink, then there probably isn’t much hope for you anyway. Casey Wilson and Scott…

Steve Harvey’s Miss Universe Gaff Makes For A Perfect ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Intro

By Dan DiLoreto | December 23, 2015

Steve Harvey created one of the most uncomfortable moments in live television we have seen this year since Rebel Wilson rocked a “f–k tha stripper police” shirt on the MTV VMAs. He did so when he accidentally crowned Miss Colombia as the new Miss Universe when it was actually supposed to be Miss Philippines. But…

Getting Hit In The Face With A 100 MPH Apple Looks Painful

By Dan DiLoreto | December 17, 2015

As far as I can tell, this video is from about 5 or so years ago, but has gained new life thanks to the endless procrastination black hole known as Reddit. For reasons unknown, this babe in a bikini is practicing her golfing in a garage and instead of using golf balls, she is using…

Here’s The Reason You Don’t Ever Admit You Haven’t Seen ‘Star Wars’

By Dan DiLoreto | December 16, 2015

Many people haven’t seen the Star Wars franchise. I’m not going to tell you which side I land on, but this video depicts pretty accurately what it’s like when people who love Star Wars (read: all of them) find out you haven’t seen any of the movies. When he calls C-3PO the “Tin Man,” I…

Drunk Mom Tries Dropping In At Skatepark And Completely Eats Shit

By Dan DiLoreto | December 10, 2015

I think the title speaks for itself, right? How on earth did you think this was going to end? I like how she grandstands a little bit to really get the crowd into it. Hat tip to the kid yelling “World Star.” The kid clearly has an eye for talent. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f8OeMFYoeo I bet her son…

This Review Of A 9 Second MMA Knockout By An Aussie Is Solid Gold

By Dan DiLoreto | December 9, 2015

YouTube user OzzyMan has a lot of videos on his channel. Most of them are him reviewing Game of Thrones. One, though, is not GoT, but rather him reviewing the now infamous 9 second knockout of light heavyweight Jason Soloman. The fight, which happened in the Super Fight League (not a joke) in September, put challenger…

Comedian Mike Polk Jr. Puts In ‘Just As Much Effort’ As The Browns In His Weekly Recap

By Dan DiLoreto | December 8, 2015

Mike Polk Jr. is synonymous with Cleveland sports. Specifically, the Cleveland Browns. He has become a beloved icon of the city because of his uncanny ability to say exactly what people are thinking, all the time. His “Factory of Sadness” video was one of the most popular and has become a staple in the pop…