| 15 February 2010
I can’t remember how many times we have tried to sear into your brains the fact that we like, nay, love nothing more than women, sports, and awesomeness. Since the NBA dunk contest, skills competition and 3-point contest took a giant dump on what we once considered awesomeness, we are left picking up the pieces and trying to put the awesome back together. Thunder Treats has decided that the NBA should have a "plan b" for when they inevitably go belly-up. What could be a better choice than MTV’s Rock N’ Jock B-ball Jam to replace these mind numbing events?
We all remember how insane this was. MTV put on this spectacle for 7 straight years from 1991-1997 and we think it’s time for a comeback. I want the same announcers, I want Bill Bellamy and yes I want Dan Cortese to be there too. I want the seizure inducing paint schemes on the floor and I want the special area’s where if you hit the shot its worth 25 or 50 points. Celebrities need to include Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers and Dean Cain from whatever the F it is he is doing now. To make it interesting we can have Donaghy be the referee. With hosts such as Daisy Fuentes, Gena Lee Nolin and Carmen Electra there won’t be a shortage of plump chubbies amongst the male demographic ages 10 – Still breathing. There’s nothing that’s not awesome or un-athletic about MTV’s annual throw down on the hardwood between the Bricklayers and Violators.
Below are the rosters that Thunder Treats has come up with. We think this ensemble of rock n rollers, movie stars and athletes will be a good mixture for some entertainment. A match up we all look forward to is John Mayer from the Bricklayers going head to head with Jessica Simpson of the Violators. I’m sure Jess has some issues with what John said in a recent Playboy interview, so look for some hard fouls and flying elbows. Also a good matchup between baby adoption machine Angelia Jolie and perennial smoke face Jennifer Aniston. We can also look forward to renewing an old rivalry between Irving “Magic” Johnson and Larry Bird. Both of whom will be given shorts with the appropriate era-length. Enjoy the rosters, let us know who you would add…
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Bricklayers
Coach: LeBron James
Captain: Dean Cain
Mark Wahlberg
Kid Rock
Lil Romeo
John Mayer
Lauren Jackson
Minka Kelly
Jessica Biel
Angelina Jolie
Magic Johnson
Violators
Coach: Kobe Bryant
Captain: Bill Bellamy
Will Smith
Flea
Master P
Justin Timberlake
Candace Parker
Megan Fox
Jessica Simpson
Jen Aniston
Larry Bird
I’m sure that between these two teams we can come up with a better half time show than Shakira lip syncing. If all else fails we can get Mark Wahlberg to get the Funky Bunch to come down and entertain the crowd like they have before…
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