By: Zach Williams & Greg Angelo
Today is basically Christmas Day for most red-blooded males in the United States. It’s the first night of the 2015 NFL Draft and it’s also the unofficial start of the 2015 NFL football season.
In addition to finding out who your team is taking in the first round of the draft, you can also stuff your fat face with delicious foods like pizza, pulled pork sandwiches, dips, chips and everything that has ever been grilled.
A staple of the NFL Draft is the numerous mock drafts that websites put out ahead of time. They all think they know what the teams are going to do, but most of the time they are completely f–king wrong.
Except for us.
This year, @z4willy gave us his in-depth mock draft that is absolutely, 100%, guaranteed to be correct, probably.
Just for good measure — and since he heard @z4willy was doing one — @gangelooo gave us a mock draft too. We’ll see who does better. Winner gets some Catullo’s Beef Jerky!
@z4willy’s Mock Draft
1.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Jameis Winston, QB
I think it would be a huge shock to everyone if the Bucs did not take Winston on Thursday night.
2.) Tennessee Titans – Marcus Mariota, QB
They absolutely cannot gamble on Zach Mettenberger for the future. He was terrible while playing last season. Rumors of them trading back have been rampant, but I see them staying put and drafting Mariota as the QB of the future in Nashville.
3.) Jacksonville Jaguars – Dante Fowler, DE
I went back and forth on this pick: Amari Cooper or Dante Fowler? I settled on Fowler because Gus Bradley is a defensive guy and you just cannot have enough pass rushers. As a Lions fan I hated the Ziggy Ansah pick in this spot a few years back, and now it looks like gold because he is an elite pass rusher.
4.) Oakland Raiders – Leonard Williams, DE
Oakland fans should be dancing in the streets after this pick. The best player in the draft, in my opinion, falls in their lap at number 4. They nailed the Mack pick last year, now they get an elite defensive lineman to throw in with him. All they need is a run stopper up the middle and Oakland has a damn good defense.
5.) Washington Redskins – Amari Cooper, WR
Going away from what a lot of people are mocking here and giving the Redskins the best player available. Garcon and DeSean Jackson have 1, maybe 2 good years left in them. Cooper becomes the future in Washington.
6.) New York Jets – Vic Beasley, LB
I can’t believe I’m mocking Beasley in the top 10. I’ve never been sold on him being an elite pass rusher because of his size, but as a Buckeye fan, I watched him abuse Jack Mewhort in the Orange Bowl when he was only a junior. Mewhort started every single game for the Colts this year as a rookie, he is obviously no slouch, and Beasley won’t be either.
7.) Chicago Bears – Kevin White, WR
This was another tough pick. John Fox comes in and brings the 3-4, with a defensive mind, but I feel like 7 is too high to take a guy like Danny Shelton. Bears traded away Brandon Marshall and look to give Cutler help with Kevin White.
8.) Atlanta Falcons – Alvin Dupree, DE
Randy Gregory or Shane Ray should be going here, but they would rather hit a bong then someone playing football across from them. Stupid and sad to cost themselves millions of dollars. Dupree is the benefactor and lands with the Falcons at 8.
9.) New York Giants – Brandon Scherff, OL
The pick makes too much sense. Eli Manning needs protection and Scherff has visited with the Giants.
10.) St. Louis Rams – Andrus Peat, OL
This was another tricky spot here. St. Louis needs a QB but there isn’t one worth taking. In recent drafts, they have gone defense in the first round after trade raping the Redskins for RG3. Peat looks solid to the Rams at 10.
11.) Minnesota Vikings – Trae Waynes, CB
Zimmer loves cornerbacks. He collected them like a kid collects baseball cards in Cincinnati and he will do the same in Minnesota. Pairing Waynes opposite Xavier Rhodes is a nice duo to have when you’re facing Stafford, Cutler and Rodgers twice a year.
12.) Cleveland Browns – DeVante Parker, WR
Nothing would shock me here because the Browns are the Browns. I just don’t see how they can’t take a franchise WR after the Josh Gordon debacle. Danny Shelton is a good player, but still too high to be taken here. The Browns hope he is still available later in the first round.
13.) New Orleans Saints – Kevin Johnson, CB
‘Nawlins is another spot where Gregory or Ray should go. Maybe Gregory goes here, I don’t know, but some NFL teams don’t want to take the risk. Kevin Johnson, a Wake Forest kid, will fit in nicely here for Rob Ryan’s defense. I know Miami is sitting right behind New Orleans, and needs help at corner too, but I think the Saints snag him right before they pick.
14. Miami Dolphins – Todd Gurley, RB
As mentioned above, they could really use help at corner, but the word around the league this week is how much Miami loves Todd Gurley.
15.) San Francisco 49ers – Marcus Peters, CB
All the Erik Armstead talk this week is smoke. If the 49ers had to start Shareece Wright at cornerback a high school quarterback could pick them apart. Marcus Peters is probably the best corner in the draft if he doesn’t get kicked off the team at Washington.
16.) Houston Texans – Breshard Perriman, WR
I think Houston really would’ve liked to have Todd Gurley to compliment Arian Foster. I know Melvin Gordon is still out there, but Houston is not that high on him. Breshad Perriman has flown up draft boards and could be the #2 receiver in Houston after they cut ties with Andre Johnson.
17.) San Diego Chargers – Cameron Erving, OL
San Diego badly needs interior help on their offensive line. I wanted to put Melvin Gordon here, and I think he could be electric paired with Rivers, but I think they will look into a running back like Tevin Coleman, Ameer Abdalluh or Duke Johnson in the 2nd round.
18.) KC Chiefs – La’El Collins, OL
I hate typing this one. I badly want Collins playing for my Detroit Lions next season but there’s no way Andy Reid passes on him here. He got his receiver in the offseason, and although a guy like Nelson Agholor or Devin Smith could fit here alongside Maclin, Reid beefs up his line.
19.) Cleveland Browns – Danny Shelton, DT
I thought the Browns nailed the draft last year and I was dead wrong, but on paper again, I have them nailing this one. They get a great receiver with pick 12, and the disruptive NG they need to run the 3-4 at 19. Shelton is only 6’1 but he is 340 pounds. With his speed and burst, he could be very disruptive in the NFL for a number of years. Hopefully my picks curse the Browns for years to come.
20.) Philadelphia Eagles – Nelson Agholor, WR
Chip Kelly is going to take a PAC 12 player. No doubt about it. But does he take Nelson Algholor or Damarious Randall? Eagles could use help at safety, but I think Algholor is the safer pick after Jeremy Maclin left for KC.
21.) Cincinnati Bengals – TJ Clemmings, OT
Not a sexy pick, but I think this pick looks towards the future in Cincinnati. Andrew Whitworth is old. Yes, he’s still an All-Pro, but for how many more years? One maybe? This helps protect Andy Dalton, who they have a lot of money invested in. Many think they take a DT here, but I think Geno Atkins and Peko will bounce back, along with bringing Michael Johnson back to play where he started.
22.) Pittsburgh Steelers – Randy Gregory, DE
Finally someone takes Randy Gregory. The Steelers get one of the best pass rushers in the draft, and it’s definitely needed. Worilds retired and Jarvis Jones looks like a bust.
23.) Detroit Lions – DJ Humphries, OT
Yes, I’m a huge Lions fan, and yes, I am on board with the pick. Melvin Gordon is the sexy pick here after Reggie Bush was cut, but the Lions have too much invested in Stafford, Megatron, Tate and Ebron to not take offensive line here. If Humphries pans out, it pushes Detroit’s offensive line close to elite. With the addition of Humphries, they could use him at left tackle, slide Reiff inside with Larry Warford and last year’s 3rd rounder, Travis Swanson, is the center for years to come. That is an offensive line they could run the ball behind. There will be a running back in the second round and I think the Lions, just like the Chargers, will look at Tevin Coleman, Ameer Abdullah, or Duke Johnson.
24.) Arizona Cardinals – Melvin Gordon, RB
Bruce Arians tosses his fedora out in the window in joy as Melvin Gordon falls to the Cardinals and immediately upgrades their backfield.
25.) Carolina Panthers – Ereck Flowers, OT
This is a monster pick for the Panthers. The patchwork offensive line they had last year somehow got Cam Newton and the guys to the playoffs. Remember how good Seantrel Henderson was supposed to be at Miami? Flowers took his starting job as a sophomore. Flowers will start immediately.
26.) Baltimore Ravens – Byron Jones, CB
I don’t know where this kid came from, but Baltimore needs help in the secondary. They re-signed Jimmy Smith, but he is far from what he once was.
27.) Dallas Cowboys – Jalen Collins, CB
Another cornerback needy team and Collins fits the Cowboys needs. I’m sure they are weary of the LSU factor, after Morris Claiborne has been a huge bust, but Collins is the best option.
28.) Denver Broncos – Eric Kendricks, LB
He’s the top player at the position and with a 3-4 defense, this should be the pick.
29.) Indianapolis Colts – Landon Collins, S
He was once considered a lock to go in the top 10. Now he falls all the way to the end of the first round. This could be a big time steal for the Colts.
30.) Green Bay Packers – Malcolm Brown, RB
He is too good to fall out of the first round. Will give the Packers help and depth at the DT position.
31.) New Orleans Saints – Shane Ray, DE
He easily could’ve went to New Orelans at 13, but with his off the field issues, his freefall continues until the Saints pick again at 31. This is a huge get for New Orleans.
32.) New England Patriots – Eddie Goldman, DT
I’d like to mock Devin Smith here so we get a Buckeye in the first round, but he departure of Vince Wilfork says it all here. He was a plugger for years with New England and commanded a double team every single play. That is so valuable in a 3-4 defense and Goldman could be the replacement.
@gangelooo’s Mock Draft
1.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Jameis Winston, QB
2.) Tennessee Titans – Marcus Mariota, QB
3.) Jacksonville Jaguars – Leonard Williams, DE
4.) Oakland Raiders – Amari Cooper, WR
5.) Washington Redskins – Dante Fowler, DE
6.) New York Jets – Vic Beasley, LB
7.) Chicago Bears – Kevin White, WR
8.) Atlanta Falcons – Alvin Dupree, WR
9.) New York Giants – Brandon Scheff, OL
10.) St. Louis Rams – Andrus Peat, OL
11.) Minnesota Vikings – DeVante Parker, WR
12.) Cleveland Browns – Randy Gregory, DE
13.) New Orleans Saints – Danny Shelton, DT
14.) Miami Dolphins – Todd Gurley, RB
15.) San Francisco 49ers – Arik Armstead, DE
16.) Houston Texans – Trae Waynes, CB
17.) San Diego Chargers – Ereck Flowers, OT
18.) Kansas City Chiefs – Cedric Ogbuehi, OT
19.) Cleveland Browns – Nelson Agholor, WR
20.) Philadelphia Eagles – Damarious Randall, S
21.) Cincinnati Bengals – Dorial Green-Beckham, WR
22.) Pittsburgh Steelers – Landon Collins, S
23.) Detroit Lions – Malcolm Brown, DT
24.) Arizona Cardinals – Melvin Gordon, RB
25.) Carolina Panthers – DJ Humphries, OT
26.) Baltimore Ravens – Marcus Peters, CB
27.) Dallas Cowboys – Kevin Johnson, CB
28.) Denver Broncos – Shane Ray, DE
29.) Indianapolis Colts – Cameron Erving, OL
30.) Green Bay Packers – Eric Kendricks, LB
31.) New Orleans Saints – Bryce Petty, QB
32.) New England Patriots – Jaelen Strong, WR
Whoever gets more picks correct will win their choice of some Catullo’s Beef Jerky! Check out Catullo’s Prime Meats online! Shipping nationwide available!
