Life Imitating Memes: Man Sets House On Fire to Kill Spiders

Yes. You’ve seen that meme. It’s probably some iteration of the one shown above. You’re significant other has sent it to you to pound it into your skull that she does not like spiders. Then, her and her friends will share it with each other because it’s fun to hate the same stuff. But one man…

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Ohio Man in Stable Condition After Being Shot By His Oven

Guns don’t shoot people, appliances shoot people. At least, that’s the new adage after an Ohio man was shot by his oven over the weekend. What started as a noble and responsible (kind of) act, ended with a trip to the emergency room for Robin Garlock of Warren, Ohio. Garlock, 44, decided to put his…

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Batman Ate at Chipotle For 500 Days Straight

The Caped Crusader had a hankerin’ for some Mexican fare that he just couldn’t shake. Bruce Wayne — no shit, that’s his real name — of Tiffin Ohio, broke the record for most consecutive meals at the restaurant in December when he hit 426. For good measure, he decided to get his Chipotle streak to…

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Man Parks Next To Police With Music Blaring, Has No License and 37 Bags Of Crack On Him Because Criminals Are Insanely Stupid

If criminals were smart, imagine how much worse the drug epidemic could be. In Youngstown, Ohio over the weekend, 20-year-old Joseph Dawson was arrested for possession of crack cocaine and traffic charges after he parked next to a police cruiser and left his car unattended with the music blaring. Officers took Dawson outside to question…

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