I know what you’re thinking and yes, a Man Crate is something awesome. Gifts for men that are packaged like men would want them packaged. How about a wooden crate? Gimme the crowbar!
Man Crates asked us what we would put in our crate, if given the opportunity. Obviously, since we thrive on nostalgia, we would load it with some of our stuff from the carefree days of the 80’s and 90’s. Here are some of the things we thought of off the top of our heads.
Crossfire
What is it? Couldn’t tell you. I know it’s some kind of game where you shot oversized BB’s at your friend, but the commercial for it will forever be ingrained in my head. For that, I must have it in my Man Crate.
Nintendo Entertainment System
If we are going with nostalgia, there is nothing better than the original Super Mario Bros. Also, because I’m a greedy son of a bitch, I want the deluxe edition that comes with the Power Pad and the Zapper Gun. I don’t need that robot, though. That’s just creepy.
WWF Ring and Action Figures
I’m going to need an original WWF Ring. Along with that ring, I will require the following action figures:
- Rowdy Roddy Piper
- Hacksaw Jim Duggan – WITH his 2 x 4
- Macho Man Randy Savage
- The Ultimate Warrior
- The Undertaker
- Harlem Heat
- Hulk Hogan
- Legion of Doom
- Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase – WITH Virgil or there is no point
- Big Boss Man
- IRS
- Yokozuna
- Andre The Giant
- Sargent Slaughter
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Turtle Party Wagon
Since we’re on action figures, let’s throw in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Turtle Party Wagon. Again, this van would be pointless without the action figures. So here’s the list:
- All four turtles
- Master Splinter
- Bebop and Rock Steady
- At least 10 foot clan members
- Shredder
- April
- Casey Jones
IDEA: 4 on 4 tag team match between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Harlem Heat and Legion of Doom!
Megaphone
Only because my parents would never get me one. Looking back, they had a point. Also, what the hell was I going to do with it?
One Full Set of 1986-87 Fleer NBA Basketball Cards
Because I want a Michael Jordan rookie card, duh. I know he was a rookie in 1984, but his rookie card from 86-87 is the money maker. I don’t get it either. Google it.
Army Gear M-16
Army Gear was the shit. I had the grenade and the watch, but the M-16 eluded me. Until now.
Spy Tech
Notice how I didn’t specify which piece of spy equipment I want? Because I want it all. The long-range microphone, the mirrored sunglasses, the motion detector. I want it all.
A VCR
I would like one Phillips-Magnavox 4-head VCR so that I can watch high school game tape. Also, all those Disney movies that came in the oversized cases that never fit on shelves.
If Man Crates can manage to fit all of that in a crate and drop it at the Thunder Treats Headquarters, that would be just swell.
Upon further inspection, it appears I’m still 12-years-old.
