To some people big messy facial hair is something to laugh and poke fun at; to others it can be considered artwork. As a man who can grow some decent facial hair I understand the time and effort that needs to be put in to grow a respectable cheek rug. After doing some extensive research I have come up with a list of the Picasso’s of facial hair throughout the sports world. Enjoy the pure beauty these men have on their faces.
Best Dick Broom (Moustache)
Rollie Fingers – Oakland A’s, San Diego Padres, Milwaukee Brewers (1968 – 1985)
Lanny McDonald – Toronto Maple Leafs, Colorado Rockies, Calgary Flames (1973 – 1989)
George Parros – Los Angeles Kings, Colorado Avalanche, Anaheim Ducks (2005 – Present)
Greg Maddux – Chicago Cubs, Atlanta Braves, San Diego Padres, Los Angeles Dodgers (1986 – 2008)
Dennis Eckersley – Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Oakland A’s, St. Louis Cardinals (1975 – 1998)
Best Chin Scarf (Goatee)
Jeff Bagwell – Houston Astros (1991 – 2005)
Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart – The Hart Foundation (1979 – 1996)
Jay Buhner – New York Yankees, Seattle Mariners (1987 – 2001)
Nick Swisher – Oakland A’s, Chicago White Sox, New York Yankees (2004 – Present)
Alexi Lalas – New England Revolution, Kansas City Wizards, Los Angeles Galaxy (1994 – 2003)
Best Ear Handles (Side Burns)
Joe Mauer – Minnesota Twins (2004 – Present)
Walt Frazier – New York Knicks, Cleveland Cavaliers (1967 – 1980)
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Nation of Domination (1995 – 2004)
Artis Gilmore – Chicago Bulls, San Antonio Spurs, Boston Celtics (1972 – 1989)
Brady Anderson – Boston Red Sox, Baltimore Orioles, Cleveland Indians (1988 – 2002)
Best Flavor Saver (Fu Manchu)
Joe Namath – New York Jets, Los Angeles Rams (1965 – 1977)
Scott Player – Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns (1998 – 2007)
Al Hrabosky – St. Louis Cardinals, Kansas City Royals, Atlanta Braves (1970 – 1982)
Rod Beck – San Francisco Giants, Chicago Cubs, Boston Red Sox, San Diego Padres (1991 – 2004)
Sal Fasano – Kansas City Royals, Oakland A’s, Colorado Rockies, Anaheim Angels, Baltimore Orioles, Philadelphia Phillies, New York Yankees, Toronto Blue Jays, Cleveland Indians (1996 – Present)
Best Pussy Tickler (Beard)
Bill Lee – Boston Red Sox, Montreal Expos (1962 – 1982)
Glen Hubbard – Atlanta Braves, Oakland A’s (1978 – 1989)
Bruce Sutter – Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals, Atlanta Braves (1976 – 1988)
Lyle Alzado – Denver Broncos, Cleveland Browns, Oakland Raiders (1971 – 1985)
Mike Commodore – New Jersey Devils, Carolina Hurricanes, Ottawa Senators, Columbus Blue Jackets (2000 – Present)
I understand that there are countless athletes sporting some chin curtains or even a mouth brow (not to be mistaken with eye brow) that I have forgotten so feel free to comment on anyone who you feel was left out. If this list of masterpieces didn’t tickle your fancy than contact Sahli, a Thunder Treats contributor, his Struthers high school yearbook is dripping with brutal facial hair.
*Thank Dilo for his knowledge of nicknames for facial hair*
Posted in Humor
